Major Hair Frustration - Need Advice!

Dec 2, 2013

Anna S.

Hey Beauties,

I need your wisdom! Basically, I am super fed up with my hair. I have it pretty long, about to the middle of my back. My texture is naturally wavy/curly (waves on top layers, gets tighter curls on bottom layers), my hair frizzes super easily, the waves/curls are really uneven. When I twist my hair up for a bun, when I take it down, the twists kinda stay, looks like I have mini dreads or something. Not cute. And I have a TON of hair. Because of its texture, it just won't lay flat (I know, volume is good, but this just looks unkempt!) and I just don't have the time anymore to be styling it every morning. I am just finishing up my first semester of law school, and even on days when my classes don't start early, I always have something else to do besides spending an hour on my hair!

It takes forever to straighten, and I do have a good iron. I don't want to be heat styling it all the time though! I just want some "miracle" product that makes my waves look presentable, so I can just "wash and go." I always end up with my hair in a messy bun, even though I know it does my face no favors. I would look great with my hair down if it only behaved.

Guess this is my long winded way of asking for products that will help tame my frizz and take my curls and waves from "wow she needs a hair brush and a flat iron" to "wow she has soft tousled hair!" I know I can't be the only one with this kind of hair texture.

I've had 3-4 keratin treatments done (the most recent one about 2 years ago). I've stopped because I think after they grow out, the hair is worse off than it was before. Also, formaldehyde :(

I have tried doing coconut oil/avocado oil hot treatments, even leaving them in overnight. I've splurged on Phytokarite at the urging of a hair stylist, and that basically amounted to a wasted $40. I'm sure all these things (and many more that I've tried) make my hair temporarily more hydrated and healthy, but nothing actually makes a visible difference in my hair, that I can just leave it natural and have a good hair day.

I'm at my with's end, and am considering Japanese Permanent Straightening. Would anyone recommend this drastic approach? I want to love my curls, but I can't look like a mess every morning as I keep experimenting with home remedies and expensive treatments that won't work. I am terrified that this treatment will just completely ruin my hair, and it won't look how I want, and I'll just be out $500. But, I just don't know what else to do with my twisty curly wavy frizzy hair.

HELP!

Dec 2, 2013

Jennifer S.

If you permanently straighten, youll have frizzy straight hair. the best thing may be to accept it.

Dec 2, 2013

Anna S.

Jennifer, thanks for the quick answer! Have you had experience with the permanent straightening, or is that a guess? My hair hasn't always been this misbehaved, which is why I know there is some regimen that can get it back to looking decent without heat. It could be the water in my shower, or a million other factors. So, I'm hoping someone will have advice on products that took their curls from unkempt to cute without heat! Thanks though.

Dec 2, 2013

Bemnia L.

I wouldn't recommend going all drastic on your hair. to get the kind of hair you described isn't going to be easy and it'll take a long time, you're going to really have to start taking care of your hair/ body.
Drink plenty of water
Eat healthy
DON't wash your hir everyday
always use a leave in conditioner
once a week use a deep conditioner
also when you get out the shower with wet hair use oil on it to seal in moisture, I recommend sweet almond oil
when you brush/ comb your hair make sure your hair is wet and that you're combing / brushing it from bottom to top
(I do this in the shower)
last but not least you're going to have to find your own holy grail product for your hair because everyone's is different. for all it's worth I'll let you know mine so you can try it out if you want.
it's the Garnier fructis style curl sculpting cream gel in extra strong
it's only $3.50 at target the only thing I don't like is that you need a lot of product so I go through it fast but it's really inexpensive so it's ok I guess
I hope I was able to help you

Dec 2, 2013

Anna S.

Bemnia, I love your advice because you get to the core of things, that is, beauty starts with what we put in our body. I do a lot of the things you say, like don't wash every day (I usually go 3-4 days), brush hair in the shower, etc. The thing I don't understand is I eat a ton of avocado, healthy nuts, spinach, all the good stuff! My hair should be freaking brilliant! Lol. I can definitely use more water day to day though. I try! But I have days when I don't do so great. Coffee kinda takes over when you're in law school :(

I used to really love the Samy brand curl cream, I bought it again recently and it just makes my hair kinda greasy. Not sure what changed, my hair or the formula.

I kinda hate the Garnier Fructis smell (I know so many people love it), but yeah, I like the idea of those gels and creams. I just keep experimenting with different brands, like organix and other drugstore ones, haven't found my HG yet... just getting frustrated with throwing money away lol. You're right though, people have different experiences with products.

I'll have to go buy some sweet almond oil! I am just getting stocked up on all these oils! Already have avocado in my fridge, and coconut oil too.

Has anyone tried specific hair oils? Like Moroccannoil or all its dupes (are they really dupes? do they work as well? I've tried the organix one... it's ok...) macadamia oil? argan oil? I know that one is for skin too... I've been just trying to go for natural edible oils, they are cheaper and I figure they don't have additives so it should be better. Now I'm thinking, maybe those additives in the specific hair oils actually are necessary. I don't know.

Dec 2, 2013

Anna S.

Just to clarify, my hair is soft and generally healthy! I haven't colored it in about 2 years, since it is so long the ends are still colored, but my next hair cut should get rid of that. So, this isn't crunchy gross over-processed hair. Just, frizzy and the curls like to twist and look bad. I just don't have the time or willingness to flat iron more than occasionally.

Dec 2, 2013

Raylene I.

Can you post a picture of your hair in all it's wild glory? Maybe we can find a quick simple style to help. Have you tried braiding your hair while wet before bed then taking out the braids and putting mousse in it?

Dec 2, 2013

Anna S.

Raylene, I will post a pic in a bit! I'm in a kinda public area (library).

I have braided my hair while wet, it just takes forever to dry. When I unbraid it after sleeping in it, it is still wet. Then it dries really fast after I undo it, but it puffs up. Also, I usually wash my hair in the mornings. I wouldn't mind the extra step of washing at night (and then still showering in the morning again without washing my hair - I can't start my day without a shower), if it would dry overnight!

Be back with a pic soonish :)

Dec 2, 2013

Buttercup x.

Garnier is a silicone bomb, so if you wanna stay silicone free don't use it ;)

Have you tried thinning it out? A friend of mine did that and it really helpef

Dec 2, 2013

Nanna V.

I use the marrocan oil after I shower, while my hair is stil damp. After that I come it with a widetooth come, and then I use the toni&guy leave-in-conditioner. My hair is frizz-less :)

Oh, and my hair is kinda wavy, and to define my waves I use the curlcream with argonoil from Trines wardrobe :)

Dec 2, 2013

Nanna V.

Comb it**

Dec 2, 2013

Josephine B.

Hi Anna, I get regular Japanese Hair Straightening every 6-8 months. We call it 'rebonding' here and get it done in Korean salons. This really straightens your hair, no frizz and flyaway. The thing is, you lose the natural body of your hair so it looks limp or flat. There is also an awkward growing out phase where your roots will show up curly and then abruptly straight. I made a blog post for the procedure I had. On my profile is my blog, just search for 'hair rebonding'. Hope this helps! I am in law school myself and I understand that ain't nobody got time fo that! :)

Dec 2, 2013

Josephine B.

Ok after seeing your pic, I'd say stick to your natural hair and get curl enhancing treatments. your hair actually looks schmexy! haha.

Dec 2, 2013

Bemnia L.

Have you tried braiding your hair when it's damp almost dry so that when you unbraid it in the morning your hair will be dry. I also recommend putting some product in your hair when you do this.

Dec 2, 2013

Paula M.

Hey Anna, I had the sane problem as you and I was at my wits end, just wanted to chop it all off so I was willing to try anything when I came across the no poo method!! It's basically cutting out all the chemicals you use on your hair and going natural all the sulphates and alcohol in most shampoos are ruining your hair causing the frizz, so why not eliminate it right! I have not used shampoo or conditioner for 6 months now and my hair has never looked and felt soo god damn amazing and the complements just keep rolling in, not only that but it seems to have started a growth spurt too my hair was shoulder length when I started and now is past my bra strap!! There are a few variations to the method so you should do some research to see what's best for you!

Dec 3, 2013

Anna S.

Josephine, thank you for the compliment! Lol this is pretty tame, I'm glad you understand my pain with school! I'll check out your blog.

Paula, what method do you use? I can imagine no shampoo, sort of, if I wash with baking soda solution... But no conditioner either? I'm wondering what you use!

Dec 3, 2013

Preeti P.

Anna I had the exact same situation and I thought straightening would solve all my problems, but it did not, first of all unless your hair is extremely curly do NOT straighten it, it will just lie flat and the volumr will just be gone. Then the root touch ups if you decide to not do it your hair will be the worst, the whole new grown hair will look awkward. Its a life time commitment you will have to keep straightening it everytime new hair grows. I would say chop your hair into many layers so they get a defined look and use deep conditioning techniques to make your hair soft and tamed.

Dec 3, 2013

Anna S.

Preeti I was hoping people would talk me out of it... It sounds tempting but I don't want to pay a ton of money for something I'll regret. And I know my hair has potential!

I had a really great hair stylist before I moved from Cleveland. I have no idea what she would do but my hair would lie great after I left the salon and for weeks after. Now I live on the west coast and have to find a new soulmate for my hair.

Dec 3, 2013

Paula M.

You can use pretty much whatever you want, conditioner ( sulfate free) I sometimes mix conditioner with honey lime and some argan or coco oil or I use apple cider vinegar. I also do natural treatments every week with whatever is in my cupboards and fridge. I used a lime and milk in my hair last time and it's  brilliant!

Dec 3, 2013

Magaly E.

Paul Mitchell has a great curl line.. It's all anti-frizz and the twirl around is great

Dec 3, 2013

Anna S.

Has anyone tried Living Proof? Sephora carries it and it was going to be my next try... It's the brand Jennifer Anniston does ads for.

Dec 3, 2013

Vivienne T.

Anything that has argan oil in it. The Pro Naturals argan oil line is excellent, their products are sulfate, sodium and silicone free so they’re super moisturizing. They’re good for frizz too, plus they make your hair super soft.

Dec 3, 2013

Anna S.

Vivienne, I don't think I've seen that line. Do you know what retailers sell it?