Devdas Theme: Bellydance/Modern Dance Improv
- Added Nov 7, 2016
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This was one of the hardest performances I've ever done.
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This was one of the hardest performances I've ever done.
My husband died almost 5 years ago, we had a rocky marriage. When I married him, I knew it wasn't forever, I nearly backed out, but something in my head told me to just go do it, it wouldn't be forever...so I did.
Through most of our relationship, he was controlling. He hated when I started dancing, and was furious when I told him I wanted to dance professionally. I used dance as an escape from him...it was my saving grace....and then he got diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, and died six months later.
Our relationship wasn't all bad, in fact I know he loved me the best way he could. He didn't know how to love, to him, love was possessing something and controlling it if it didn't want to do as you wished. I try not to hold it against him, and although he's been gone a long time, and I've moved on, I'm still conditioned to react to certain situations, and suffer with a bit of PTSD as a result.
I've needed to tell this story for a long time, and after being absent from the NE Ohio Dance Community for 3 years, I returned finally healed enough to tell this story, and heal to move on.
I was lucky to have found an angel during the end of my struggle, who reached out to me and offered support, not even knowing who I was. In him I found what I needed, and as our friendship developed, we learned more about each other. He became my rock, and I his. He saved me from myself, and so much more. I love him, and am thankful every single day I can now call him my husband.
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