What to wear to...

Jul 17, 2014

Cass F.

... My friend's grandfather's funeral.
Sorry if this comes across as morbid, I genuinely don't know if to go corporate? All black? Normal clothing but more subtle?

Jul 17, 2014

Breeze T.

How's the weather? I would wear a knee length pencil skirt, tights depending on the temperature and a top (spaghetti strap or a blouse) with a blazer.

Jul 17, 2014

Bianca B.

A simple black pair of trousers and a black shirt or blouse. You can also wear an black dress, if it's not too sexy ;) you know what I mean...

Jul 17, 2014

Emily B.

Can you ask your friend for suggestions? But I agree with breeze, usually you can't go wrong with that. Or slacks and a sweater/too.

Jul 17, 2014

Emily B.

Top* sorry

Jul 17, 2014

Alyx T.

Don't wear anything too bright, but don't go over the top black either. Black pants and a darker basic shirt will do. You don't want to draw attention to yourself, it's not somebody you are super close with and you're not family, so don't wear anything really fancy or anything that is to blingy. I went to my friends fathers funeral and I wore leggings and a basic really dark purple shirt that went past my butt. My mom wore black pants and a dark blue button up shirt. There was a girl there that he had worked with who's teenage daughter came in a mini skirt dress (if the dress was any shorter we would have all seen her underwear) that had shiny gold embellishments all over the chest and was low cut. She hadn't ever met the guy everyone was mourning, but everybody was disgusted every time she walked past. There were similar people at my grandfathers funeral, people he barely knew wearing the most over the top funeral wear. As part of the family we read through the names of people who signed the book, and after a few someone would say "did you see what ___ was wearing? She looked like she was the widow" about someone he worked with for a few weeks or hadn't seen in 20 years.

You just want to blend in so wear something casual that is not bright or fancy, think professional work clothes or what'd you would wear to an interview but darker or neutral colors, the funeral is not about you it's about the person who passed and the family.

Jul 17, 2014

Alyx T.

Sorry that was a lot, I just started typing and kept thinking of more to say haha.
I hope I helped, and if you knew your friends grandfather at all I'm sorry for your loss.

Jul 17, 2014

Natalie T.

First of all, I'm sorry for your loss. Your friend's grandfather and their family will be in my thoughts

Are you looking for clothing for the wake service, the graveside service, or both?

I'm a funeral director and my advise is to keep it simple and subdued. I agree with almost all of the advise posted! You shouldn't wear anything too dressy, nor should you wear something too casual. All black is a good and safe choice BUT I know its summer and its hot, and black isn't necessarily fun to wear in the heat. If you don't want to sport all black, going for neutral tones or muted colors is okay too.
I would wear a conservative dress, dress slacks, or a knee length skirt in black or a dark neutral color (something office appropriate). Since it is summer, I would opt for a nice blouse in a neutral color (white, creams, navy/black, greys, tans, ect), a subdued muted color, or even a really low key neutral print. If the blouse is sleeveless, bring a blazer to throw on in the funeral home or at the graveside service. If its short sleeved and covers your shoulders, I wouldn't worry about a blazer or cardigan in the summer heat.
I would also wear sensible, plain shoes-plain flats or low/work appropriate pumps. Keep accessories minimal and stay away from trendy pieces. As for hair and makeup, also keep them simple and completely minimal. Keeping your hair down or pulled back off your face are great, but I wouldn't go with a high maintenance style. I would also avoid a lip color outside of the neutral family, if any, and I would keep eye makeup very simple and in neutral matte shadows if you must wear eyeshadow.


Basically avoid:
too short of skirt/dress hems
leggings
jeans
t shirts
sandals and flip flops
too high of heels/going out shoes
too much makeup
bright colors
bold/loud prints
anything shiny or sparkly
"trendy" pieces (of clothing/accessories/ect)

Jul 17, 2014

duffs g.

I'm sorry to here that. my grandmother passed June 14 so I feel your friends pain.
I would stick with black and gray. conservative clothes. n not a lot of makeup, no heavy lip color.

Jul 17, 2014

Kat A.

Agree with Natalie. I'm sorry for your/your friend's loss.

Jul 18, 2014

Cass F.

You're all so lovely.
Based on the feedback, it's winter in aus, I have opted for a gray double breasted coat, black flats, black slacks and a two toned peplum top (grey and olive)
I appreciate all your input, it's really tough with non relative funerals. 

Xx