What is a helpful response?

May 25, 2014

Hannah K.

I wanted to talk about something, which I think is perhaps the most important part of this website: your responses to questions.

Let's talk about what is a truly helpful response: I notice that a lot of girls simply comment a product, or a quick "you look gorgeous!" in response to most questions, but truly, that's not always the most useful answer. For example, instead of just listing a product, it's much more helpful to explain WHY that product is great in your opinion. WHY is Maybelline the Rocket your favorite mascara? WHY do you like Suave shampoo? It's much more helpful to the ladies asking the questions if you explain why the products are so good, instead of just saying "oh, I like product X."

As for the "you look beautiful" comments, those are always welcome, though if you see something that could be fixed (maybe there are mascara smudges on her eyelids, or her winged eyeliner isn't completely straight), it is your job, as members of this community, to let them know. Not necessarily to say "well, your mascara looks completely awful!" but instead to say, "you look lovely, but your mascara is a bit smudged on your eyelids, you may want to fix that." Would you let your friends walk out in public with unblended eyeshadow or clumpy lashes? We, as a community, are your friends, and so long as you phrase your suggestions kindly, we will all appreciate it.

Another common answer to questions is some variation of "I don't know." This is really, really not a helpful answer, for many reasons. Unless you're saying "I don't know the answer, but I just want to let you know that you're not being ignored," just skip this comment altogether. If you want to know how good the L'oreal hair dye is, would you want someone to comment "I've never tried it, lol"? No, because that doesn't help you at all. A good rule of thumb is to give others answers that YOU, yourself, would find useful.

The last thing to think about before you answer someone's question is, do you truly know the answer? I'm not licensed a hairdresser, nor do I do my own hair, so I would never dream of trying to explain to someone how to lighten their hair 3 levels. I have absolutely no idea what a "hair level" is. So if I were to give advice on that thread, I might do more harm than good. I wouldn't want to be responsible for someone frying their hair off, would you? Another aspect of this point is, have you actually tried the product you're recommending? Unless you're saying "I've heard that a lot of people really like Product Y," that's not necessarily the best thing to do, either. I personally do not wear foundation, so I wouldn't suggest that someone try the Laura Mercier foundation, because I've never tried it. I have no idea how it applies, how well it covers, what the staying power is like, or if it will make your skin break out. If you've never tried something, please don't recommend it, as it can cause serious consequences for others if they don't know how it will work for them.

It is also important to acknowledge what constitutes "rude" or "bullying" commentary. I know for a fact that no one on here sets out with the intention of being rude, but sometimes, to certain people, our opinions can come off as such. When stating a controversial opinion, it can be really helpful to preface it with "Personally, I would..." or "In my opinion..." so that everyone understands that it's your opinion, not a law.

On the flip side to that, everyone should understand that it's possible to disagree with someone without being rude. When someone comments with their opinion, even if you don't agree with it, just say "thanks for your opinion." Why start an argument when it can be completely avoided? If someone is being truly rude, FLAG IT, and ignore it. No one likes drama, right?

The thing that truly makes this community special are the thoughtful, helpful explanations given in answer to the questions asked. I'm not saying that all of these things are laws, but it will make Beautylish an even better place if we try hard to give good, extensive answers to questions. I know that not everyone has time to write a novel in response to a question, and that's completely fine, these are just things to consider before you answer someone's question. I hope you all understand where I'm coming from, and I hope that you're all having a wonderful day!

May 25, 2014

Marleen B.

I totally agree on everything you said. Esp. the part on why you like a specific product. I also like to state my skintone & skintype. I don't want to rave about a product to someone with acneic oily skin when I have dry skin. Or recommend a blush color to someone with fair skin when I have an olive skintone (unless I truly thought the product would work for more than 1 skintone).

May 26, 2014

Bekah S.

I think this was very informative and very well needed! :)

May 26, 2014

Kitty K.

Very well put Hannah!

I do agree, one of the most frustrating comments ( in my personal opinion ) has always been 'I don't know' and I have seen an increase in them lately.
If you don't know about a certain product, at least have the decency to direct the user to a product page with reviews. ( e.g. Sephora, MakeUpAlley,Ulta ). This way it's not so blank.

As for 'Do you truly know the answer?' AGREED! 110%
If someone asks me how to do a make up technique - I rather re-direct them to a thread where Miss Jacqueline or Miss Alma have thoroughly explained the proper technique and products to use.
A lot of times this can flare up a fight. Why? Because ( hypothetically ) the user may question me as to why I say this is the technique done... and what is my answer going to be? 'Oh Miss Jacqueline and Miss Alma said so.'
Everytime I come across an informative post, I save it. Especially if it's a commonly asked question. I rather a user learn thoroughly and properly why a certain technique is done that way. I'll post the link, and they'll get a much better answer than what I could have come up with! It will make it so much more worthy!

May 26, 2014

Maggie S.

Lately I have been seeing a ton of threads that post pictures that say "I'm so ugly'" or "I look terrible without foundation," they aren't asking for help to fix it just stating their opinion. I feel like this should be banned in some way since it is negative, I know sometimes we need a pick me up, but is posting a selfie that you say looks ugly helpful to the community?

I don't know you were looking for my two cents on this thread, but I was just wondering if you condone this type of thing here on BL.

May 26, 2014

Isabel M.

I have to say that I am guilty of some of these thing! However I will now make it my mission to give more helpful answers! Thank you for posting this!

May 26, 2014

Hannah K.

Maggie, feel free to email help@beautylish.com to see if there's anything that can be done. If possible, include examples. We really don't approve of threads like that, they tend to have no value unless they're asking a question, I.e. "how can I clear up my skin? I don't feel confident without foundation."

May 26, 2014

Maggie S.

Thanks Hannah, I believe there were a few today, but they must have been deleted. If it happens again I'll do what you said. Thanks again :).

May 26, 2014

Hannah K.

Isabel, I cannot tell you how incredibly happy I am to hear you say that; I think that your attitude towards this is the best possible reaction, and I truly hope this helps you and everyone else in the community to give valuable answers :)

May 26, 2014

Hannah K.

Maggie, no problem at all. You can also send the thread to myself or any of the other moderators :)

May 26, 2014

Jenna L.

I totally agree with everything you said.
There's a lot of "omg you're so pretty" added to everyone's comments instead of actually giving helpful feedback, which personally I want.
And I do find some people on here can't take any sort of criticism or difference of opinion.
I had a post get deleted because I simply asked for people's opinions on getting a lot of tattoos. And said personally, it wasn't my taste. And some girls took it straight to heart.
Like everyone's opinions and thoughts should be respected if they're giving it in a respectful manner.
I'm really happy you took the time to think about this and write it out so it gives everyone something to think about when they're posting!

May 26, 2014

Lorna G.

Thank you so much for such an informative thread. I too, find myself saying a couple of these every now and then, generally, the "I don't know, but, you can always ask a moderator" haha! Thanks for setting it clear and giving some useful tips when responding to threads. I will take this all on board for future responses. Take care Hannah, I hope you have a marvelous day!

May 26, 2014

Tamara W.

Thanks for advice Hannah. I will be better equipped to answer questions I know. if you are unaware of how to do something then we can forward them to where they can get help. thanks again Hannah!

May 26, 2014

Hannah K.

I'm sincerely happy that you all appreciate this, I think it's something that we, as a community, can work on, and I want to thank you all for your positive reactions!

May 26, 2014

Brianna M.

This is so true and exactly why you are a moderator thank you 👍😊

May 26, 2014

Hannah K.

Harlyn, ask Alicia about that. The thing about winged eyeliner is that it differs by eye shape, what works for one

May 26, 2014

Hannah K.

Oops! What works for one may not work for another. Unfortunately, that's not something that can really be regulated.

May 26, 2014

Sanjana N.

Hey hannah, very helpful post.. I hope everyone reads this.. I am guilty at few points.. I will surely keep in mind before answering..

I agree with what maggie said I have seen a lot of post where people say I look ugly or this is how I look without foundation etc.. but their skin will be super fine, something which can make other people crave for.. so I don't understand what they expect when they post such things, do they want people to praise them?(obviously people will praise for such lovely skin) so I think these kind of posts where nothing is done excepting praising should be avoided or just as you said they can ask "how can I improve?" instead of simply saying I look ugly...

next thing is I think people should get little mature (not all) sometimes even properly said opinions will be called RUDE.. I think people should really grow up stop fighting over such things..

and using LOL with every sentence really makes it look like a joke like for example "I don't know lol", " I don't like it lol", "nay lol". sometimes this lol can really hurt others

oh my god I think I spoke too much.. sorry if I have said anything wrong..

May 26, 2014

Saby T.

I completely agree with Hannah,sometimes when I try to point out the mistakes on a look,I see no one else mentioning about it..all are like 'its a pretty look' etc..plus some girls take these suggestions and opinions in a wrong way,I'm only trying to help out but if I get a rude response for that I just ignore pointing anythng out.But I will definitely nt do tht from now on! Thnks fr this post Hannah!

May 26, 2014

Kaitlin M.

Hannah, I totally agree with you.
Of course I'm guilty of a few things you have mentioned (I had a beautylish account months ago but I believe it got deleted).
I feel like the biggest problem here is people who are "rude". Their replies are short, vague and don't necessarily tell me or the writer of a post why or why not to do something.
It does bother me to read sometimes though. Also, I do also believe what you said about the product lists and how they just be more informative.
Great feed Hannah! :)

May 26, 2014

Cheez H.

Thank you for this. 👏

May 26, 2014

Jenny L.

I'm guilty of some of these things, and I'll definitely be more careful from now on. Thanks Hannah, really nice thread :)

May 26, 2014

Tiffany B.

I love this thread and the great response from the BL community. Everyone's additional input to the discussion is spot on. I hope everyone in the community chooses to read this.

May 26, 2014

Erin M.

I think another good point to remember is it's not what you say, it's how you say it.

Saying 'You're eyeliner looks bad fix it' is going to hurt someone opposed to, 'If I can make a suggestion, maybe make your eyeliner a little thicker?'

That, and I think sometimes if a person doesn't ask for a critique, don't give it, or at least not a harsh one. I was told once 'you should contour your face' after I posted a look, and it hurt my feelings as it Made me feel like she was saying my face was big and I hadn't asked for a critique on my face at all. Maybe I was being sensitive but that's just how It made me feel.

May 26, 2014

Marie Therese D.

Well said hannah W 😘❤️!!