Bullies and the "Makeup Effect"

Jul 2, 2013

Becca B.

So I'm not sure exactly why, but I honestly felt the need to get this off my chest, because its been bothering me since it started.
I had been bullied in middle school because of the way I looked (as a lot of people are). People who I thought were my friends, would tell me I was too fat, and they would call me ugly behind my back, and I knew it. When I first entered into high school as a freshmen, thugs got even worse. I was riding the bus home one day towards the end of my freshman year and a boy that sat behind me began to pull my hair, calling me names like nappy head and just childish stuff, and I honestly tried to ignore it, until he literally pulled hair right out of my head. A LARGE amount, to the point where it left a bald spot. I yelled at him to stop but that just made his friends and sister laugh and tell him to do it even more. Believe me, I got off that bus as fast as I could and didn't get back on until my senior year. Anyways, because I had the bald spot, I had to pull my hair over on one side, kinda like a combover (hahaha) and eventually got sick of all the comments people made about my hair and such, so I started wearing wigs (not very good ones lol). That didn't help much. So my sophomore year I started wearing makeup (not very.. Well) hoping people would stop their remarks and I could make at least a few friends, which I did, but the same girls and guys would make their comments. I would literally come home and cry. During the summer before junior year, I watched a LOAD of YouTube videos on how to apply makeup, and actually became obsessed with it. Basically I completely changed during that summer as far as the way I looked. And surprisingly enough, the bullying calmed down. That year went by smoothly, and I actually met my best male friend that year. Senior year (c/o2012) came and people who seriously used to talk soo bad to me and about tried to become my friend. Even the mean girls who used to bully me tried to be nice to me. I've can honestly say I've never been mean to anybody I've met. Ever.
I actually had a guy who I though was my friend in middle school walk up to me a month before we graduated and say 'Dang Becca, you used to be so freaking hideous, now you're gorgeous' at that time I didn't know whether to take that as compliment or insult.
Now I feel like I can't leave the house unless I'm wearing full in makeup. I think it's sad that people will actually talk down on people, make them feel like worthless crap, unless they look a certain way. It really have an effect on a persons life.
So basically, I was wondering if anybody else started wearing makeup because of bullies, or for another reason. Lol sorry for wasting so much time babbling on about it. 😶

Jul 2, 2013

Bobbie L.

That makes my heart hurt. :( I can't stand bullying. You were beautiful before and you're beautiful now! <3.

Jul 2, 2013

Katelyn B.

I'm so sorry those jerks were so rude to you. I started wearing makeup because I hated the way I looked (I have really bad acne) :(

Jul 2, 2013

Daija C.

You were always beautiful it just took other people a while to realize it.

Jul 2, 2013

Chorouk K.

You are so beautiful.

Jul 2, 2013

Megan K.

You are gorgeous! I use to get bullied too in my 8 th and 9 th grade year and also has to wear make and get my upper lip and eye brows waxed. I hate bullies!

Jul 2, 2013

Megan K.

Now I don't have to wear make up to be beautiful. Just be your self :)

Jul 2, 2013

Diego G.

I'm really sorry that happened to you Rebecca. You're gorgeous girl! Walk with your held up high and with confidence. Those lil bullies will have kids one day. You do you boo. I'm on your side😘

Jul 2, 2013

Becca B.

Thanks so much guys ❤ it really means a lot! I was just curious if other people had gone through anything similar and that's why they wear their makeup or hair or whatever makes them feel better about thenselves ☺

Jul 2, 2013

Becca B.

And I also don't believe wearing makeup or nails, or fake hair means you're a fake person, as many believe. I think it's all about that personality that makes a person who they are. 💁

Jul 2, 2013

Becca B.

@jacqueline: I completely agree with you! Thanks!

Jul 2, 2013

Amber R.

That's such a horrible story! I was bullied badly during school, people would call me ugly and make jokes behind my back. I didn't have a am big problem with my looks until people started pointing out what was 'wrong' with me. You're stunning and I would give anything to look like you and have your skin! Thankyou for sharing your story xx

Jul 2, 2013

Valkyrie F.

I know your pain. I was bullied for being different. A group of six girls would bully me because I'm from a big family and they couldn't really afford new shoes and clothes so, I'd have to make do. They'd say that I was no good and I was ugly and fat. So, I starved myself in the hopes that someone would like me. I got quite ill. Not long after I was lucky enough to move house. I put on a healthy amount of weight and starting looking nice. And y'know what? Every single one of those girls admit they were jealous and they are still to this day. :)

Chin up, beautiful! We're strong!

Jul 2, 2013

Paige M.

People suck, especially in high school - and a lot of those immature brats will never grow up because their lives will never get better than they were back then. Im sorry to hear about what happened to you, that couldnt have been easy.

So I can't find a photo of how I looked but in 2011 I was dating this guy who I thought I was totally inlove with and at first he was so sweet and nice and then after a month or so he started turning into a bit of an asshole,( it was subtle at first so I guess I didn't really notice until the damage was done)
We'd be going out somewhere and I'd have a decent amount of makeup on andd would usually be wearing leggings, flats and a cute top with my hair in a bun - then he'd say things like "you're going out looking like that? Oh.. okay.. well I just thought you'd want to make an effort. Why don't you put in your extensions and wear a skirt or something bub? You look beautiful like that :)"
So (because I was an idiot) I'd be like aw he thinks I'm beautiful like that so I'll do it.
Then thats literally the only way I ever looked, you'd never see me without "foundation, concealer, powder, blush, bronzer, lipstick, lots of mascara or false lashes, eyeliner, eyeshadow and extensions" I had to have a full face of makeup on and touch it up every hour or so. I'd get my eyebrows waxed, a subtle fake tan and new clothes every week.
It was ridiculous, I was spending so much money just to impress one asshole that I was completely broke and had to work every shift I could get (I was a waitress being paid $10.50 an hour) and I complrtely ruined my self esteem. I thought, and still kinda think that I have to look like that to be beautiful.
I was also a size 10 (Australian sizing - weighed 53 kg - had C-D cup boobs) and he'd say shit like I don't want to have sex if the lights on/its day time because you look fat naked. Or that I should wear one of his jumpers to hide my fat. Like cool, thats really what I needed to hear.. but then sometimes he'd be so sweet and take me to really fancy expensive dinners at the boat house, but yeah. People who make you feel like shit like that are pathetic. Its taken me up until a few months ago to be able to go more than one day without wearing makeup.. my bf now who is so sweet and amazing always tells me I look beautiful all the time and stuff which has helped a bit.

A friend of mine dated that other guys cousin and he'd say the EXACT same shit to her and she was the same size as me - must be a pathetic family thing -_-

Jul 2, 2013

Etienne S.

I hate that you had to go through that but now I can see that you got over it so yay! :) Wear your makeup because of how much you love it not becauae you had to change yourself to please them. Sweetie you are pretty even before you started wearing makeup. :)

Jul 2, 2013

Paige M.

I love fake nails and depending on how you get them done, most people can't even tell them are fake by looking at them.
Thats another thing I did every week was get my nails done.

Jul 2, 2013

Shelley W.

Kudos to you sweetheart for having the courage to even share this here. I'm sorry you had to experience that. I too was bullied my senior year of h.s. (was at a new school in a new city). It was frightening. When you mentioned the hair situation I wanted to cry as something similar happened to me. Except they had cutting shears. Luckily someone saw what was going on and intervened on my behalf (another student) but in retaliation I was later pushed down a flight of stairs. What I learned is that bullies are the one's with serious insecurities. Sadly they feel the need to pass them on to others so they torment those that they are most envious of. You are a very beautiful young woman and you need not allow their issues to affect you for eternity. I actually had the opposite effect...I stopped wearing makeup my senior year because I didn't want to give them further fuel to incite their violence on me. Took me a long time to get back into it as I kept hearing the ugly words they use to spit at me when I did wear makeup. And all I wore was lip gloss, mascara and maybe a winged eye. It hurt like heck but eventually the pain no longer felt as heavy. Now that I'm a mom of 3...one a 13 yr old girl I'm always instilling in them to respect everyone and defend those who need help. Once again you are a beautiful, beautiful person and don't think otherwise.xoxo.

Jul 2, 2013

Julissa B.

That made me so sad and angry that people think that they have the right to say and do that stuff to you, you deserved so much more than those names they called you.

Jul 2, 2013

Becca B.

@Amber: yup! I was the same way. I never thought about my looks until people made their comments, and thanks! I had a lot of acne back after the first and second photo, but it cleared up so all I have are scars I can't get rid of lol.
@valkyrie: I'm glad you're doing better now! And I believe it about them being jealous, seems like that's just how people are!
@Paige: Wow! What a horrid sounding fellow! I'm glad you got away from it.. I wouldn't be able to put up with such, I'm too emotional for that. Seems like it is sort of does run in the family. Glad ya have a good guy now😊
@Christine: I definitely wear it for me now! Thanks so much girl!
@Paige: I wish I could get my nails done every week! But their too sensitive 😓
@Shelly: that's horrible! :( I'm glad somebody actually helped you out! I think the same way too, and thanks so much! I think it's wonderful you teach your daughters that, that's what my mom had taught me and I plan on teaching my future children if I have any ☺