Modesty: what's your opinion?

Jun 20, 2013

Shantele V.

I think that if you can see the pockets from your shorts thats just taking it too far society has changed so much with clothing. But the thing that really irratates me is that when I go shopping and try to look for normal shorts the only ones avaliable are ass shorts prefferably I like it when my shorts go over my ass cheeks. I do agree though that people should be able to show some skin but there is a time and place for that e.g at the beach or at home. not when your going out shopping. I think it makes people look more avaliable (sexually) but other people disagree each to there own I suppose but when you can see things that only your boyfriend/husband should see then its just tacky. especially when I see them on 10 year olds. I could go on forever about this subject...

Jun 20, 2013

Amelia H.

Man, I stopped caring about how other people look and dress or whatever, honestly.
I'm happy taking care of me and what I'm doing, so I don't need to analyze why people are wearing what they're wearing. c:

Jun 20, 2013

Emily W.

I agree with Alethia. It is downright shocking the way some women my age choose to dress. I believe in common decency and respect both for yourself and for others; letting everything hang out is disrespectful and indecent. Nobody is going to buy the cow when they can get the milk for free. I don't want to see your stomach or other bits hanging out, little children in public certainly don't need to see it either. Save the sexy for the boudoir, not the grocery store. (This is entirely my opinion, and nobody has to agree with me. If you choose to bare all, that's your prerogative.)

Jun 20, 2013

Kenzie L.

I think age has a lot to do with the bra strap thing as well. the younger you are, the easier it is to get away with it.

Jun 20, 2013

Jillian K.

I would say I dress pretty modestly, however if a woman chose to dress more risqué I have no problem with it. I do believe there is a time and place for dressing like that though. Should you be almost naked mid-day on a playground? Of course not. If you want to wear a short dress with everything hanging out at dinner or something? Go for it. It's good to dress modestly in a professional or school setting, church, important events, whatever. But on a day to day basis, I don't care what anyone else wears lol.

Jun 20, 2013

Aly C.

I think it is different for every person. Generally no one looks good in a bikini above the age16. unless you're a model or.size 2 with no chichis or booty. it gets to look not so classy after that. also if your butt cheek is hanging out of your shorts, or your Vag is on the fast track to being exposed in them, they are probably too short. nomatter how.good your legs look, nobody wants to see your whole tail. except for manwhores but you shouldn't want that kind of attention. when it comes to dresses(or.more.like shorts) if you can't successfully bend.over without exposing your tail. its too small. and do I.even.have to explain why.boobs all over the place is not.cool?? a hint of clevege is.fine. pero si tus boobs are all over everywhere you need to lock them away. the goal is for not to want men knowing what lies underneath. it should not be that obvious. I think ladies dress that way bc they want attention.. and that is a problem in our society bc you should.be.confident and want a man to work for what you have to offer. or want a man who is.a real man.and.not some dummy... lol! that's my take.

Jun 20, 2013

Ashley L.

I dress modestly because I am a mother but I still like to dress sexy for my husband. but I don't like letting anything hang out haha.. you can be sexy without showing all your goods.

Jun 20, 2013

Roz X.

I'm friends with some great people who are male, but dress as sexy women, ladies who rock a bikini better than many a 16 yr. old...have sleeves, piercings...all sorts of fun stuff it would seem are deemed inappropriate in this thread. Pride Parade must positively mortify you. Ah well. Pity; it's a great time. *whispers* Lotta bra straps.

Jun 20, 2013

Roz X.

Oh..and I don't base my style on my relationship status, age or any of that jazz. I'm just crazy like that..lolz.

Jun 20, 2013

Cindy C.

I think that people (women especially) should have respect for themselves. And that's as far as the concept of 'modesty' in this sense should stretch. People can dress however they wish, and how they dress is not an invitation for anyone to judge them. Modesty in this context is also very subjective. For example, our great grandparents would regard most of our fashions as unacceptable, as would modern day Muslim women. It's all relative and generally comes down to better education. I'm not saying it's ok to have your tits hanging out, and that kind of thing is sad because we tend to take it as an indication that the wearer is not respecting herself enough to realise that she is more than just a body. As long as you are comfortable, confident and enlightened, I see no reason why you can't wear whatever you want.

Jun 20, 2013

Ashley L.

good answer Cindy! :))

Jun 20, 2013

Roz X.

Excellent and thoughtful post, Cindy.

Jun 20, 2013

Samira S.

I'm pretty old fashioned I love modesty but there's a time and place to show your body like swimming. Not in a gas station lol

Jun 20, 2013

Amber K.

I'm not one to judge others by the way they look on the outside. I just think it's a shame when a girl goes around showing (in my eyes) too much skin. A girl walking around with shorts that show half her bum and a see-through shirt just isn't attractive to me. No one person has the same opinion on how much skin is too much skin, but I personally think that UNDERwear is called that because its supposed to be UNDER your clothing. We all know you're wearing it (in most cases ha!), so it's just not necessary to show us it. I don't have a problem with bikinis, as long as they are worn at appropriate places! Bikinis are for swimming, so wear them to the beach or the pool. I've seen a few girls walking around in shorts and a bikini top while shopping on the high street. I mean really? That's just asking for attention in my opinion, and not the good kind. I walk around town and often see a girl (or woman!) wearing beautifully fashionable clothes, without letting everything hang out. That's the kind of style and modesty I can appreciate.

Jun 20, 2013

Cindy C.

Please please don't use that phrase, "asking for it" or any derivative of that. I could be walking around in my underwear in the middle of the city and still not be "asking for it".

Jun 20, 2013

Amber K.

I hope you weren't referring to me, because I didn't say asking for it. I said asking for attention, and there's a clear difference.

Jun 20, 2013

Kenzie L.

I think just the word modesty itself has developed a negative connotation. being modest does NOT make you a judgmental prude who thinks she's better than everyone. it also does NOT mean that you automatically judge others for choosing to wear less. it also does NOT mean you're any less open minded when it comes to sexuality, feminism, etc. to me these biases are just as provincial and hurtful as those who have biases against women who choose to show more skin.

Jun 20, 2013

Cindy C.

I know you didn't say that, and I apologise, I shouldn't have been so blasé about it. I'd hate to be accused of having that kind of attitude, so I'm sorry. However, I feel like "asking for attention" especially said in that negative way, carries the same kind of implications. Who are we to make that assumption? I know that when I was young, and all I wanted was to fit in, I'd often end up doing the opposite, presenting myself in ways that were too old for me or didn't suit me. And I certainly wasn't asking for attention, I'd have done anything to lose it. Sometimes we forget ourselves in our insecurity, and those of us who are confident in our own beauty (inner and outer) are in no place to imperiously judge others whom we deem misguided. On the topic of modesty, as I said it's just so subjective and, to be honest, quite arbitrary.

Jun 20, 2013

Cindy C.

Kenzie, I agree with you. I was just trying to point out that what is and isn't acceptable can be so flexible. I'm definitely not a proponent of walking around half naked, as I think that when women make that choice they only perpetuate negative attitudes about women. But, that being said, it is still a choice. I apologise if I've offended you Kenzie and Amber. Just trying to spark thought provoking conversation, that is after all how progress is made.

Jun 20, 2013

Amber K.

The sad thing is that the confidence of girls that wear clothes that let everything hang out is directly proportionate to how they look. It doesn't come from what they have achieved, or what skills they have. It comes from how much attention and how many looks they can get (whether it's from men, or from women, because let's be honest, girls are always in competition with each other). There's nothing new about wanting to be desired and complimented, but with these girls, it's not just that they like compliments. They crave them. I think that the problem comes when your only desire is to be desired. Don't get me wrong - by desire, I'm not saying that anyone is "asking for it". Not at all. I just think that there are hundreds of better ways to get attention, without exposing your body. Like I said, a person can look fantastic while wearing stylish clothes that barely show any skin, and I can vouch that I've seen countless examples. To me, a person is far more attractive when they have respect for themselves.

Jun 20, 2013

Kenzie L.

Cindy no worries. I wasn't offended :) there have been strong opinions on both sides and its only fair to hear both of them. I was actually the same as you growing up. going back on the subject of bikinis, I've honestly never really felt comfortable in them to begin with. I dread shopping for them and I feel super exposed and vulnerable in them. I always felt pressure to wear one because I wanted to be accepted and I wanted guys to think I'm attractive. I felt if I wore anything more I couldn't compete.

Jun 20, 2013

Amber K.

I'm not the least bit offended by what you said, Cindy. I can understand that what I say may come across differently than I intend it to. The things I say are often misunderstood, or interpreted differently than I meant them to be.

Jun 20, 2013

Mariah A.

I'm with Haley S on this

Jun 20, 2013

Kenzie L.

Mariah this post isn't about controlling what other people should or shouldn't wear. it's about coming to an understanding on both sides of the matter. neither is more nobal than the other.

Jun 20, 2013

Cindy C.

I'm with you on the bikini thing actually. I've never felt comfortable in them but in a weird way felt ashamed for not feeling confident, when I'm always telling others that they should be.
And yes, the pressure to be desirable is very strong in our society. From a young age we are taught that our minds aren't nearly as important as our looks.