The Nonsense Has To Stop!!

Jul 5, 2015

Nicole M.

Sabrina I agree with your plan 100% let's spread love and not hate❤️

Jul 5, 2015

Alma M.

I agree no one is going to win a knowledge award lol so it's best to be kind and open minded with respect. :)

Jul 6, 2015

Tamara F.

I'm glad it was said. I wanted to ignore it but I couldn't and that's why I was gone for almost two years. I'm back because I will not let the few disrespectful and obviously low self esteem keep me from my love for all things beauty...and sharing that with the other BL beauties. Opinions are just fine. If we were are exactly the same with similar taste then this will be a very boring forum. Imagine how empowering it would be if we all supported each other the way we wanted others to support us?

Jul 6, 2015

Genevieve D.

I also stayed away from the app lately because I feel there is a lot of bashing unfortunately :( I just don't understand what is the point of replying in such way! I'm even reticent to post sometime because I don't need such negativity in the response I'll get! it's time for a big clean up ladies! Shelley that was the absolute right time to post this! thanks!!

Jul 6, 2015

Roz X.

I'm honestly worn out typing on my phone detailed help for members who never return to threads to acknowledge help they actively sought out. I see Ms. Jacqueline and some others do the same and I feel it is another avenue of thoughtlessness..and just as damaging to the board as the rampant bickering and bullying that's been taking place. I also agree, do a search before you create a new thread. There is a wealth of information in our achives!! Lastly, the selfie threads..this trio of behavior patterns is why I often walk away..as do others. Strangely enough, the members who could truly benefit from this thread probably won't open it. You should have entitled it, "Urgent! Flip flop emergency!!" Shelley. ;)
Thanks again to those who took the time to not only read, but share thoughts and engage in active discussion. It was not without my appreciation or respect.

Jul 6, 2015

Breeze T.

Thank you for this thread, I hope it gets seen by everyone. Please contact us if you see anything off as Sabrina said. Thankfully we're in different time zones so it helps with availability :)

Jul 6, 2015

NiK I.

Couldn?t agree more:-)

Jul 6, 2015

Rebecca J.

Thanks for this post! I hope the majority if not all members will take time to read this. I also don't post anymore, but this is mainly because my posts of late seem to go unnoticed/maybe no one knows the answers? anyway I agree that members should at least type their questions into the search bar before posting as more than likely it has been answered. I try to answer as much threads as I can with information they may find useful but I've given up answering questions that have been answered before. I also find it frustrating that when someone takes the time to give an answer but gets no thanks in return is rude. Hopefully things will change :-)

Jul 6, 2015

Cindy R.

I love that this thread was made. I've literally been tired of the bickering. sometimes we need to agree to disagree as we all have different opinions and different ways of viewing things. some people choose to keep an argument going. but let's remember this how fair is it to the person who made the thread. how is it fair to have a heated discussion on someone else's thread that could be helpful and informative. Lets be kind to one another lady's.

Jul 6, 2015

Shelley W.

I want to personally thank everyone who has responded to this thread. My decision to post it came after receiving disturbing bad news and then getting alerted to some negative activity here on BL Sunday morning. As some of you who know me I'm a domestic violence advocate. I speak for those who just can't speak for themselves because of the abuse. I'm often on call with local law enforcement for three area counties to step in and assist victims and their children with emergency housing/services or to just escape once and for all. I also go in and advocate for them in court against their abusers. Its exhausting and mentally/emotionally draining...its also dangerous as well. I've been verbally threatened and I even had one perp stalk me in hopes of finding his wife who was in hiding at an area shelter. I carry a concealed weapon to protect myself and that of my family.

BL is my outlet. Its my place to decompress from all the BS I see and deal with. I love helping anyone and everyone who asks for help whether it be skincare or makeup. I'm not a pro and if there is something asked beyond my scope of personal knowledge I bug the pros that I do know for assistance. I've seen quite a few of you blossom before my eyes...picking up advance techinques or just gaining to additional confidence to go outside your comfort zones. I even worry about a few of you if I don't see those pretty profile pics in threads.

So it pains me when I get on the site and read such ugly and disrespectful words being dished out like its no big deal. Everyone is entitled to an opinion but how its expressed and the tone in which it takes on...is depressing. Its one thing to correct a person but its quite another to go in for an attack like its WW3.

In my line of work young girls/women are referred to by their abusers as useless, stupid, ugly, a waste of space, trash...the list goes on and on. So why in the hell are fellow sisters being bullies against others is beyond my comprehension. We already have so many odds placed against us generated by society and men in general so what gives us the stinking right to be so mean towards eachother?

The arguement taking about;"I'm just opinionated and speak my mind." That is just utter hogwash. You can be opininated and outspoken without the meaness. As a group we need to stick together instead of bashing one another. We are a mix bag of cultures here. BL is an international community of beautiful women and its about time we start acting like sisters instead of enemies. Did you know in some cultures daily showers are deemed excessive. Did you know that in other parts of the world shaving is frowned upon based upon religious reasons? And there is even a tribe in Africa that appreciates women with a space in their upper front teeth. They are deemed beautiful and signify good luck for the man that marries such a woman.

I can no longer sit here and read the abuse that has going on. When people become fearful of posting due the Mean Girl mentality that exist then I find issue with it. No one should be scared to post a thread or respond to one. Going forward if I personally read a thread in which a user personally attacks, demean or just outright disrespectful I will call out the offender (s) myself. As I mentioned earlier we have lost quite a few helpful and super resourceful users due to negative behavior here and I won't stand to see the one's that remain to go as well.

I just want BL to be a safe place for ALL OF US to contribute without fear because in my line of work that's all I see.

Jul 7, 2015

Livi H.

Thank you Shelley for all that you do.

Jul 7, 2015

Bonnie R.

Shelley you do an amazing job. Moderating a large board is tough, and the team here is stellar. This is a great board to learn about other cultures, products, and customs. There's so much negativity out there. This is a great place to lift each other up. This place is also a refuge for me, and I'm tired of the judgemental BS.

Jul 7, 2015

Sadiya R.

Hi girls, I've been around for a couple of years. I enjoy this side, but I prefer to remain silent because I don't fell experienced enough to answer your cuestions. I love sharing my ideas and few knowledge whenever

Jul 7, 2015

Sadiya R.

(sorry) I can. I think we are here to encourage each other. Personally one thing I've seen lately and I agree is not useful for the community is common topics asked once and once again. I suggest to search before asking or make a specific question on the topic, I also suggest being more descriptive on the title, not writing topics such as: Urgent! Help with... That does not help me to know what the topic is about. I think this is a wonderful site and I encourage everyone of us to be respectful and kind, we are here to support each other, hope this thread helps to improve the situation :)

Jul 7, 2015

Jackie S.

Shelley, what a great post. I think this was definitely necessary to say and I hope people listen. I love this site because it has helped me discover new products and figure out some dos and don'ts. I don't post that often, mainly due to the fact that I'm not all that experienced. But I hope that things change to make it a comfortable environment for all. Bravo