Weird Beauty Tips From Miss Piggy and The Stars Of The 80’s

During the 70s and 80s, advice books by big (and not so big) celebrities were all the rage. Stars would share their life secrets for pretty much everything: health, love, career, fashion, and, of course, beauty. Some suggestions might be a little dated, and some downright weird, but we still want to know what these Me Decade stars did to maintain their beauty regimes. Check out some of best—and most interesting—tips, with a couple of product recommendations if you dare to try one out yourself!

The Miss Piggy Seven-Minute Amazing Face Daily Shape-Up

Miss Piggy, the most glamorous Muppet, has a whole book on how to live your life as fabulous as she, called, what else, Miss Piggy’s Guide to Life. Her daily routine is one we should all aspire to maintain:

What You’ll Need:

Some of your favorite candy

Soft towel with your name or initials on it

Soap that smells nice (any color but white)

Small hand mirror

Large dresser mirror

Tissues and strong astringent solution

1. Dip tissue in astringent, sniff, make face, then throw away tissue

2. Wash face

3. Dry with towel

4. Look in mirrors

5. Smile with approval

6. Eat candy

A Killer Eye Look

Brooke Shields was twenty years old when she released her biography On Your Own, which offers advice ranging from attending college, going-out beauty looks, and dating. She describes one very prominent eye makeup look to wear when out for a night of dancing:

“To create an outrageous look that’s perfect for the disco, I outline my top and bottom lashes with a thin line of green shadow and finish with red mascara.”

If Brooke’s red and green combo seems a little too daring for you, try Anna Sui Eyeshadow in 900 with Inglot’s Colour Play Mascara in Blue for a throwback to 80s makeup that’s still bold and a lot of fun.

Lip Moisturizing

Raquel Welch, famous for starring in cult classics such as One Million Years B.C. and Myra Breckinridge, penned an autobiography a few years ago called Beyond the Cleavage. She shares the trials and tribulations about being a Hollywood “sex symbol,” as well as recommendations on fitness and grooming. Her advice for keeping lips properly moisturized is nothing short of unique:

“Get one that works well under makeup. Don’t laugh, but I use Bag Balm, which is what dairy farmers use on cow udders when milking. I know it’s weird, but it works.”

A Neck and Chin Exercise

There’s even helpful guidance from Dynasty’s own Krystle Carrington, played by Linda Evans, who wrote the Linda Evans Beauty and Exercise Book. She tells her readers about this somewhat peculiar facial yoga exercise:

“Open your mouth and stick out your tongue as far as you can, pointing the tip upward. You should see and feel the muscles in your neck tightening up. Do this tongue-in-and-out exercise about twenty-five times in a row to begin. Then each week, add more repetitions as the muscles get stronger. You will quickly see results. Warning: I suggest you do this exercise privately to avoid ridicule.”

The Secret To Thick Lashes

British actress Joan Collins who played Dynasty’s ultimate bad girl Alexis wrote numerous advice books, including the aptly-named Joan Collins’ Secrets. She explains her interesting mascara trick:

“A good way to achieve thick lashes is to apply mascara while sitting under the hair dryer. The hot air dries it fast, so you can apply several coats in succession.”

If you decide to test out Joan’s hot (literally) mascara tip yourself, use a few coats of Charlotte Tilbury’s Full Fat Lashes.