Body By Kit: Men and Cellulite

Body By Kit

"Men and Cellulite" by Kit Rich

"If a tree falls in a forest and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound?" If I have a zit and I don’t point it out, does anyone see it?  If I pull my jeans out of the hamper and no one knows but me, are they really dirty?

Perceived reality is a philosophical phenomenon that has had many intellectuals and artists in debate. It is a riddle that keeps on riddling. I am not a philosopher, a poet, or a painter, but please riddle me this: If, when I’m naked in front of my boyfriend, and he never says anything about my cellulite, does he know it’s there?

This was a question I had pondered for months while dating my boyfriend who, by the way, was one of the most perceptive men I had ever met. No, boyfriend, I had not been aware that my ears moved when I giggled. No, boyfriend, I did not realize my left eye slightly slanted downward. Thanks for noticing. 

My boyfriend, Inspector Gadget, was so perceptive that I couldn’t believe he hadn’t noticed or spoken about the subtle traces of cellulite that frequented my backside and plagued my life every day. Or had he seen it and just not said anything? But how could he not? It’s so obviously there…right? 

His silence made me nervous and was potentially a very bad sign. All the other nuances of mine he had pointed out were also followed with an, “it’s so cute,” or an, “I love that about you. It makes you, you.”

My cellulite received no acknowledgment and no accolades which led me to make one of the most disastrous, life-altering mistakes in the world of relationships…ever.

It happened on a dark and stormy night. Kidding, but it should have been. It was actually sunny, perfect for cellulite viewing and inspection. Inspector Gadget could tell by the look on my face that I had a burning question. How perceptive. I took a deep breath.

“Have you ever noticed my cellulite before?”
“Huh?” he responded so eloquently.
But I didn’t take the hint and stop there. “On my butt. My cellulite. Do you see it?”
“What are you talking about? You don’t have cellulite.”

Stubborn, and determined to prove my truth, I preceded to show him and point out in detail the validity of my statement over the course of the next twenty minutes.
“See, right here. This is cellulite. And here…and here…and here.”

He finally responded with a statement that would forever change my life.
“Funny. I didn’t notice until you pointed it out. But now that you say something, yes, I see it.”

Perceived reality is a philosophical concept that may be cause for debate, but I, however, will not debate this: Men, as perceptive as they may seem, don’t see everything, and cellulite is only as bad as your perception.

Most importantly, never, ever—and I mean ever—do what I did. Save yourself the trouble and let me be your guide. Never point out your cellulite.  

Cellulite is, for the most part, a genetically induced frustration. Even the skinniest of women have it. But lifestyle plays a huge role in diminishing the look. Here’s what you can do to help.

1. Squats!

Muscle toning and strengthening helps diminish cellulite. Perform squats 2-3 times a week. Do 10-20 squats, 2-3 sets depending on your level.  You can also do 10-20 minutes, 2-3 times a week on the Stairmaster at the gym or any stairs you can find. When climbing the stairs, push up through your heel to make sure you are really attacking your backside. Also, try varying the way you go up the stairs. Turn to the side, or perform a back kick with every step up. Please be safe and test it out before you crank up the speed!

2. Do yoga.

Stretching not only makes you feel good but helps to reduce the look of cellulite by increasing blood flow and circulation. 

3. Cut out the sugar!

No more muffins and no more cookies (or at least not the whole box). Diet plays a significant role in the look of your legs. When you get your sugar cravings, try drinking a sweet tea such as black licorice tea to help reduce the cravings and keep your hand out of that cookie jar. Include more fiber and protein into your diet and drink eight glasses of water a day.

Kit Rich is Los Angeles-based fitness trainer with endless exercise and nutritional know-how. Hollywood's hottest stars are addicted to Kit's unique, multi-disciplined approach that combines cardio, yoga, Pilates, and weight training. Kit's clients are immediately taken by her funny and honest approach to health and fitness. She treats her clients as she treats herself, "with a hard challenge, sensibility, sensitively, and a good laugh." Follow Kit on Twitter @kitrichfitness